Losing my mind...

I'm warning y'all that I'm going on a ranting spree today.


I'm sure that moms will just have one of those years or days (which ever you chose).  There's always going to be some type of trial in my life that is going to give me some sort of panic attack or make me feel like I can't do anything to fix it.
Kinda like what we have going on right now.

My amazing husband was able to get into school here in Georgia (yay!).  That's really the whole point we moved here was so that he could do that.  Now the hard part.
He has to quit a job that is paying him well enough to meet our expenses and pay off our car, to were he will now be working minimum wage and only working a couple hours everyday.  The perks is that it'll be in the same town he's going to school in so that'll be good for our gas.  Sadly not for paying off car.  I don't believe in credit cards or paying off debt with debt.  But, with the circumstances we have right now, it looks like we are going to be dealing with that possibly.

I'm so frustrated because I want to do SOMETHING.  I feel powerless sitting here at home and not doing working or contributing.  That's only part 1 of why I'm losing my mind...

The other matter at hand is that I rarely ever get out much.  I don't want to go outside now that it's summer and the humidity is going to get to baby girl and me.  Even if I had a car were in the world would I go?  I don't know where things are around here and I have no one to go with.  Having a baby is great but I have no money to spend on her.
So when the family is all here and I suggest (more like beg because of the serious cabin fever), something comes up to where we don't go do anything.
That's part 2 of why I'm losing my mind....

Recently I've felt so much more closed off to people.  Especially my husband.  Our relationship is changing and evolving as we are together.  One thing I have a hard time with now is his schedule.  He's gone from 6 am til 7 pm and by the time he comes home, my baby is getting fussy and wants to go to bed.  I get irritated since i haven't had a break from her all day (I don't mind staying with her but let's be honest....mommies need a break too)
So then I go off and try to soothe her til she's tired enough to fall asleep and when all that's done, my husband is in bed and I don't get to talk to him.

I"m sure that everyone will tell me that they had a period of time in there lives when they weren't close to there spouse because of jobs or school or whatever but it's difficult for me.  Especially since we live with my mother in law.  She's awesome and helps take care of us since we can't afford to live on our own yet.  But let me tell you.  Not having your own space is hard because you don't get to do what you want too.

I'm finding it easier to stay away from people here because I have no friends here.  Therefore I just make the excuse that I don't want to do anything because I have no one to keep my company.  But when I do need to talk to someone, my poor husband has to hear all the things I would rather tell a girlfriend.  Because girls just get that sorta thing.  Guys don't.  But at least my husband is willing to listen.

Today I'm bored out of my mind.  My husbands at work, the boys went off shooting (couldn't go do that because Raine needed to take a nap and the guns are to loud for her anyway), the female in laws are talking furniture and that pretty much sums up my whole list of people I could talk to or do anything with.  All the activities we had planned for today went flying out the window so now everyone's just doing there own thing.

I"m trying to soothe my boredom by blogging but there's only so much I can write.

Well, here's to hoping something comes up so I won't go crazy.,,,,,