WELL last night was a total disaster. I didn't know about an afternoon snack which would have been helpful. I went WAY to long without eating because I got distracted taking care of baby face. So when it came to the dinner portion of my day I felt so sick with my stomach cramping and nausea to boot, I couldn't really stomach juice.
So my husband being the glory of all husbands ever, took me out to eat and after eating out to help regain some ground on my hunger, it made me feel WORSE. I honestly felt like I was pregnant again and believe me I HATED that feeling. (this is by no way an announcement either!)
So I came home and drank water to help settle my stomach and went to bed. I woke up at 2 am feeling still miserable and took in some more water. I didn't fall back asleep til almost four am. Ugh.
So here I am now taking it even slower because I have to recover from yesterday after not taking it in correctly. I'm still going to have the juice every meal but I'm going to take in regular meals first.
Wish me luck!
Now I want to say that my husband is amazing because he surprised me this morning and didn't have to work at all!
I came out of the bedroom to go and get baby and he jumped out and said he was going to make me breakfast. YAY!
So here's to an awesome memorial day weekend!
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Friday, May 24, 2013
Day 1: Feeling good so far
Just so everyone knows I am still nursing. However, I don't have a juicer but I have a ninja. Therefore, I am eating the pulp as well. That way I am eating something solid and getting what I need from that. And I'm taking in water and having small snacks here and there. Mostly just light things because I feel satisfied with the pulp/juice mixture.
So here is my story so far:
I'm 23 years old. I have a beautiful 8 month old daughter who I get to have the pleasure of staying at home with and watching her grow.
I hate to admit it but I eat terrible. I only eat when I get REALLY hungry and I know that's not good for me considering that I need that energy to take care of my baby. Plus what ever little food I get, she's getting too. I know that when I"m eating better, she can go longer periods of time without having to nurse as frequently, because my milk is healthier.
So here's my current know how of me:
I hate to admit it but I eat terrible. I only eat when I get REALLY hungry and I know that's not good for me considering that I need that energy to take care of my baby. Plus what ever little food I get, she's getting too. I know that when I"m eating better, she can go longer periods of time without having to nurse as frequently, because my milk is healthier.
So here's my current know how of me:
Weight: 117.2
Height: 5.1
Physical Problems: anxiety, depression, low energy, difficulty sleeping, frequent headaches and skin problems.
Height: 5.1
Physical Problems: anxiety, depression, low energy, difficulty sleeping, frequent headaches and skin problems.
I'm actively working on ALL of my problems right now so there isn't a need to worry about it. So far I'm making progress on all the mentioned above items.
I'm really embarrassed about mentioning what I have issues with right now but I have to prove to myself that I'm not going to let little things like this keep me in the way of going the distance and fixing my body so that I can become a better person inside and out!
So today I started with having a glass of warm water with lemon juice in it. Let me tell me, I had a massive case of heart burn this morning so that did NOT help. But once I got to eating the first meal of the day with my carrots, apples and lemon today, he went away! Baby girl even wanted to try some and she ended up loving it too!
Carrot-Apple-Lemon
4 carrots
2 Apples
1 lemon
4 carrots
2 Apples
1 lemon
As for the taste, it was actually pretty good. I thought it would taste funky considering that it didn't have anything in it to help sweeten it but to be honest it was nice to not have to sweeten it.
As for energy, I feel really good right now :)
As for energy, I feel really good right now :)
Now as for the exercise part of my day, I do yoga in the morning and in the evening. I've been doing it for the past week and my back hasn't felt this good since before I was pregnant! And even then I still had issues with it.
Afternoon-
I successfully did a half hour of yoga with my husbands grandma linda, as well as went on a walk with her.
Upon returning I am now trying out the green portion of the day.
Garden Variety
2 apples
2 cucumbers
6-8 kale leaves
(Australian Tuscan cabbage)**
1 handful of parsley
2 apples
2 cucumbers
6-8 kale leaves
(Australian Tuscan cabbage)**
1 handful of parsley
Now I didn't have cabbage but I do have broccoli. In the substitution list, it says if I don't have that then I could do this instead.
Not going to lie, it doesn't look appetizing.... as for taste..... well considering that I'm eating the pulp too, it's actually not that bad. I like kale a lot so that doesn't bother me to much to taste the texture of it. I can also say that it does taste a little like dirt but I'm trying not to think about it or else it'll get to me :p
Rebooting my system....with JUICING????
So here's the deal. I've been wanting to detox my system since FOREVER ago. And I've gotten a strong impression that I should do just that.
Now I know what you're thinking. "Your still nursing????" Yea I know. But either way, babies getting all the bad toxins in my body way before I even decided to juice my way to a healthier life style. I find that today's world is promoting us to get fat and just take medicine to get rid of it. You know my response?
Work out and eat healthier.
But how would one who stays at home do that you ask?
I watched a documentary (which I'm addicted to watching those type of shows) called: Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead.
It talks about this guy named Joe from Australia, who was overweight and had health problems. So what did he do? For 60 DAYS that's right 60, he went on a strict only Juicing diet and water. He found that with committment and a turn around on healthier eating and exercise that he was able to get off his prescription drugs and turn himself around completely. He was monitored by doctors the whole time to check and see his progress and make sure he wasn't putting himself into any danger. The doctors actually loved what he was doing and told him to keep up the healthy life style.
Now after 60 days, he broke his "fast" as he calls it (he was taking a break from everything like dairy, meat, breads and such). He detoxed himself enough to were it made it easier for his body to handle a different food diet.
That's what I"m going to do.
This was the most inspirational movie I've ever watched and I'm so glad that I finally took the time to watch it.
I'm only doing it 5-6 days mind you because I'm not overweight and have all the problems that he had. Again, it's only to get my body to restart and then start eating healthier. It'll also allow me to get the bad stuff out of Raine too. I feel terrible knowing that I had a part in giving her all the stuff in her body that gives her low energy and other things of that nature.
Right now I'm using this website: http://www.rebootwithjoe.com/rebooting/ (he's the fellow that did the documentary)
To help get me started on my new journey. Now he recommends not doing it if your pregnant or nursing. But i've read from other moms like me that it's okay but to take it very slowly. That means not just jumping into nothing but juicing head on but to add it to eating your solid food still and then slowly working down to that.
So I'll make another post about my story so that way this one isn't so long :p
cheers!
Now I know what you're thinking. "Your still nursing????" Yea I know. But either way, babies getting all the bad toxins in my body way before I even decided to juice my way to a healthier life style. I find that today's world is promoting us to get fat and just take medicine to get rid of it. You know my response?
Work out and eat healthier.
But how would one who stays at home do that you ask?
I watched a documentary (which I'm addicted to watching those type of shows) called: Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead.
It talks about this guy named Joe from Australia, who was overweight and had health problems. So what did he do? For 60 DAYS that's right 60, he went on a strict only Juicing diet and water. He found that with committment and a turn around on healthier eating and exercise that he was able to get off his prescription drugs and turn himself around completely. He was monitored by doctors the whole time to check and see his progress and make sure he wasn't putting himself into any danger. The doctors actually loved what he was doing and told him to keep up the healthy life style.
Now after 60 days, he broke his "fast" as he calls it (he was taking a break from everything like dairy, meat, breads and such). He detoxed himself enough to were it made it easier for his body to handle a different food diet.
That's what I"m going to do.
This was the most inspirational movie I've ever watched and I'm so glad that I finally took the time to watch it.
I'm only doing it 5-6 days mind you because I'm not overweight and have all the problems that he had. Again, it's only to get my body to restart and then start eating healthier. It'll also allow me to get the bad stuff out of Raine too. I feel terrible knowing that I had a part in giving her all the stuff in her body that gives her low energy and other things of that nature.
Right now I'm using this website: http://www.rebootwithjoe.com/rebooting/ (he's the fellow that did the documentary)
To help get me started on my new journey. Now he recommends not doing it if your pregnant or nursing. But i've read from other moms like me that it's okay but to take it very slowly. That means not just jumping into nothing but juicing head on but to add it to eating your solid food still and then slowly working down to that.
So I'll make another post about my story so that way this one isn't so long :p
cheers!
Thursday, May 23, 2013
It's booming out here!
So last night we had THE most EPIC thunderstorm I've ever experienced out here thus far.
It shook the entire house with each crack of thunder. The lightning lit up the whole backyard. Illuminating the rainfall as it poured hard, and thick onto the grass.
I jumped when I heard the first set start. I giggled and looked at my husband and mother-in-law. They both just glanced at each other and Caleb replied: "That's what I've missed about the south. It only get's better as we go deeper into summer."
Man I freakin love it!!!
However there are a few cons about having a storm like that over us. We have to unplug the internet or else it'll fry our modem. That and Arresa and I have to scramble and pull out all the candles so that in case the electricity goes out (which it has before with a smaller storm) we can see at night. We also prepare blankets and clean up the house and always have dinner made and ready to eat so in case again, if we lose power, we won't have to worry about warming up our food.
I've been a little paranoid ever since Arresa told me that if it looks yellow outside, that means there is a tornado warning most likely to happen and that we need to find shelter. That and I have to keep a close eye on the Peachtree weather system so that we can see if there is anything else coming our way.
Luckily, the pine trees that they used to have on there property are long gone due to other storms that had struck them or fallen. Pine trees are the worst kind of tree to have because even with the bigger ones with the roots deep in the ground, they are the ones that always fall and cause damage. Our neighbors behind us and across the street have some that are pretty big. Hopefully they won't fall on us because I like the house I live in!
Only other news I have is that I found a super good deal on a treadmill. I was at a yard sale were my mother in law was buying me a dinette. The seller was trying to get rid of everything out on the lawn and I got it for....wait for it..... 25 dollars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes it still works and believe me, I'm excited to use it once I have the room for it haha. It just needs some oil to help the squeaky wheels and then I'll be all set!
It shook the entire house with each crack of thunder. The lightning lit up the whole backyard. Illuminating the rainfall as it poured hard, and thick onto the grass.
I jumped when I heard the first set start. I giggled and looked at my husband and mother-in-law. They both just glanced at each other and Caleb replied: "That's what I've missed about the south. It only get's better as we go deeper into summer."
Man I freakin love it!!!
However there are a few cons about having a storm like that over us. We have to unplug the internet or else it'll fry our modem. That and Arresa and I have to scramble and pull out all the candles so that in case the electricity goes out (which it has before with a smaller storm) we can see at night. We also prepare blankets and clean up the house and always have dinner made and ready to eat so in case again, if we lose power, we won't have to worry about warming up our food.
I've been a little paranoid ever since Arresa told me that if it looks yellow outside, that means there is a tornado warning most likely to happen and that we need to find shelter. That and I have to keep a close eye on the Peachtree weather system so that we can see if there is anything else coming our way.
Luckily, the pine trees that they used to have on there property are long gone due to other storms that had struck them or fallen. Pine trees are the worst kind of tree to have because even with the bigger ones with the roots deep in the ground, they are the ones that always fall and cause damage. Our neighbors behind us and across the street have some that are pretty big. Hopefully they won't fall on us because I like the house I live in!
Only other news I have is that I found a super good deal on a treadmill. I was at a yard sale were my mother in law was buying me a dinette. The seller was trying to get rid of everything out on the lawn and I got it for....wait for it..... 25 dollars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes it still works and believe me, I'm excited to use it once I have the room for it haha. It just needs some oil to help the squeaky wheels and then I'll be all set!
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Hardest part about staying at home
In earlier rants, I would mention how hard it is from one side, the difficulty of having someone that needed my constant attention 24/7. How people assumed, that I was lazy just because I stay at home.
But here's something to ponder on.
What am I supposed to do in my free time when my baby is asleep and I actually do have everything done?
Let's be blunt here.
It's probably the hardest part about staying at home. On top of that, I just moved to a new place and have NO friends out here. I don't have anyone I can call on the phone and talk to. The time difference is 2 hours ahead from where I used to live so I can't just assume they'll not be busy.
I have made the occasional call or text every so often but it's a lonely game we face, us moms.
We expect to do so much while the husbands away. When he does come home and sometimes relieves me so I can have a break I try to think of something to do so I can relax.
We're in no position for me to be going off alone and go sight seeing. Everything is about a half hour away from where we live so traveling is pointless. The main stuff in town is fast food joints and a grocery store so there's also no point going to those places unless I want to spend money.
I've tried walking outside but by the time I do that, it's so late that I'm endangering myself and that is what got me scolded by 3 different people for my stupidity.
I guess the main reason I"m posting this is that for some moms you can't help but feel this way. And it's okay. You're not alone. I'm 23 and a mormon in the south. The south isn't bad by any means, but were in the WORLD am I going to go and find people my age? Let alone someone that doesn't give me a weird look and rolls there eyes when I say I'm LDS/mormon?
How do i fix that?
But here's something to ponder on.
What am I supposed to do in my free time when my baby is asleep and I actually do have everything done?
Let's be blunt here.
It's probably the hardest part about staying at home. On top of that, I just moved to a new place and have NO friends out here. I don't have anyone I can call on the phone and talk to. The time difference is 2 hours ahead from where I used to live so I can't just assume they'll not be busy.
I have made the occasional call or text every so often but it's a lonely game we face, us moms.
We expect to do so much while the husbands away. When he does come home and sometimes relieves me so I can have a break I try to think of something to do so I can relax.
We're in no position for me to be going off alone and go sight seeing. Everything is about a half hour away from where we live so traveling is pointless. The main stuff in town is fast food joints and a grocery store so there's also no point going to those places unless I want to spend money.
I've tried walking outside but by the time I do that, it's so late that I'm endangering myself and that is what got me scolded by 3 different people for my stupidity.
I guess the main reason I"m posting this is that for some moms you can't help but feel this way. And it's okay. You're not alone. I'm 23 and a mormon in the south. The south isn't bad by any means, but were in the WORLD am I going to go and find people my age? Let alone someone that doesn't give me a weird look and rolls there eyes when I say I'm LDS/mormon?
How do i fix that?
Well for now all I can do is vent about it but I'm looking for a penpal to write to so that I can feel like I have someone to talk too. I talk to my husband of course but they'll fill in the gaps for the time he isn't here.
So all in all. Don't feel guilty because you are doing nothing wrong.
So all in all. Don't feel guilty because you are doing nothing wrong.
Friday, May 17, 2013
Grassy Adventure!......Being punished for trying to stay fit
So yesterday was pretty eventful day!
Raine enjoyed her first time crawling in grass and playing with some of our cats mittens and patches along with getting some fun in the sun.
Now I never go outside because I'm super paranoid about being stung by bees or fire ants and I think I'm allergic to some kind of pollen or grass or something but I have no idea what it is.
She also helped me with the laundry (mostly helping me stall anyway lol). I sit her in the laundry basket after I put the clothes in it and I pull her around in it. She enjoys it as you can see. I get a kick out of it to because she's full of giggles as I take her through the house in it. She loves boxes, hampers and over hangs.
The darker cat is patches and the gray cat is mittens. One of these days I'll be able to capture Poe when he's around.
Mittens is the testy one so I was busy trying to keep mittens at a relative distance that I wasn't paying attention enough to the fact that patches was curious about Raine too. I'm pretty sure they don't like her now .
I don't know what my deal was but I was having some SERIOUS issues relaxing before turning in for the night. My usual relaxation of playing with mittens and or patches ( our cats) or just simply watching some T.V. did nothing to help me unwind.
So I decided to get my shoes on and try running it off. At 10 pm. It was stupid to go by myself but I was so restless! I headed to the dirt track that is about a block away from were I live and push the negative mojo out that way.
I was doing pretty good considering I haven't done any heavy exercise since before I was pregnant. My nose was starting to run and I used my hand as a tissue since I had nothing else to use. (gross I know but I'm only human) I mention this because it plays a crucial part later in my story.
After finishing my run, I walked back to the house and felt pretty good. I was sore, tasted blood in my mouth but I felt good. And tired. Tired enough that if I were to lie down I could fall asleep.
That's what exactly what I wanted since I couldn't do that earlier.
I got home and collapsed on the couch. It felt good to lie down and just stretch my sore limbs and feel the burn of a good run. My husband came out of our room and greeted me even though he was exhausted he was worried sick about me. (aww he still cares :3)
So he got me a glass of water and I began to notice that my hand was itchy and burned a little. I scratched it not really thinking about it.
After a few minutes I stood up and went to pour the rest of the water on my hand because it was bothering me. So I went to the sink and turned the light on so that I could see what I was doing. I began pouring the water on my hand when I noticed that it had broken out into hives!!! HIVES people!!!
I got my husband and mother in law to look at it. For the life of me I can't figure out what in the world I did to have my hand break out so badly! I walked in the grass but didn't touch it with my hands. I inspected my legs and there were no hives there. So it couldn't have been the grass. Also considering that I had been outside earlier that day with my daughter and hadn't broken out anywhere else.
I did have some quinoa for dinner (which was the first time I've ever had it) but I wasn't breaking out anywhere and I was breathing just fine.
I saw that I had a little bit on the upper part of my left arm along with a new spot beginning on my collar bone. EEK!
So my husband took my clothes and I showered. I was in there for a while and I can honestly say that was the deepest cleaning I have ever done. I scrubbed and washed everything at least 5 times and I still didn't feel clean enough. I was so paranoid that whatever was on my skin was going to stay there and that the hives would never go away!
I eventually went to bed and when I woke up this morning the hives were gone. YAY! So here's the moral of the story:
1. Don't work out late
2. Running on a familiar track isn't always the best idea
3. Outside environmental stuff hates me
4. I'm allergic to something and I'm not sure what in the heck it is.
In summary to what I mentioned, I'm never going outside again. Just another thing to add to the list of reasons why I won't. It goes right next to fear of bees and dogs.
Raine enjoyed her first time crawling in grass and playing with some of our cats mittens and patches along with getting some fun in the sun.
Now I never go outside because I'm super paranoid about being stung by bees or fire ants and I think I'm allergic to some kind of pollen or grass or something but I have no idea what it is.
She also helped me with the laundry (mostly helping me stall anyway lol). I sit her in the laundry basket after I put the clothes in it and I pull her around in it. She enjoys it as you can see. I get a kick out of it to because she's full of giggles as I take her through the house in it. She loves boxes, hampers and over hangs.
The darker cat is patches and the gray cat is mittens. One of these days I'll be able to capture Poe when he's around.
Mittens is the testy one so I was busy trying to keep mittens at a relative distance that I wasn't paying attention enough to the fact that patches was curious about Raine too. I'm pretty sure they don't like her now .
I don't know what my deal was but I was having some SERIOUS issues relaxing before turning in for the night. My usual relaxation of playing with mittens and or patches ( our cats) or just simply watching some T.V. did nothing to help me unwind.
So I decided to get my shoes on and try running it off. At 10 pm. It was stupid to go by myself but I was so restless! I headed to the dirt track that is about a block away from were I live and push the negative mojo out that way.
I was doing pretty good considering I haven't done any heavy exercise since before I was pregnant. My nose was starting to run and I used my hand as a tissue since I had nothing else to use. (gross I know but I'm only human) I mention this because it plays a crucial part later in my story.
After finishing my run, I walked back to the house and felt pretty good. I was sore, tasted blood in my mouth but I felt good. And tired. Tired enough that if I were to lie down I could fall asleep.
That's what exactly what I wanted since I couldn't do that earlier.
I got home and collapsed on the couch. It felt good to lie down and just stretch my sore limbs and feel the burn of a good run. My husband came out of our room and greeted me even though he was exhausted he was worried sick about me. (aww he still cares :3)
So he got me a glass of water and I began to notice that my hand was itchy and burned a little. I scratched it not really thinking about it.
After a few minutes I stood up and went to pour the rest of the water on my hand because it was bothering me. So I went to the sink and turned the light on so that I could see what I was doing. I began pouring the water on my hand when I noticed that it had broken out into hives!!! HIVES people!!!
I got my husband and mother in law to look at it. For the life of me I can't figure out what in the world I did to have my hand break out so badly! I walked in the grass but didn't touch it with my hands. I inspected my legs and there were no hives there. So it couldn't have been the grass. Also considering that I had been outside earlier that day with my daughter and hadn't broken out anywhere else.
I did have some quinoa for dinner (which was the first time I've ever had it) but I wasn't breaking out anywhere and I was breathing just fine.
I saw that I had a little bit on the upper part of my left arm along with a new spot beginning on my collar bone. EEK!
So my husband took my clothes and I showered. I was in there for a while and I can honestly say that was the deepest cleaning I have ever done. I scrubbed and washed everything at least 5 times and I still didn't feel clean enough. I was so paranoid that whatever was on my skin was going to stay there and that the hives would never go away!
I eventually went to bed and when I woke up this morning the hives were gone. YAY! So here's the moral of the story:
1. Don't work out late
2. Running on a familiar track isn't always the best idea
3. Outside environmental stuff hates me
4. I'm allergic to something and I'm not sure what in the heck it is.
In summary to what I mentioned, I'm never going outside again. Just another thing to add to the list of reasons why I won't. It goes right next to fear of bees and dogs.
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Ever feel like when you finally have that free time you get nervous??
So this is kinda a follow up to the last post I made.
Okay it's not kinda it just is.
So yesterday, Raine fell asleep at 7:30 and I got done doing dishes and cleaning up after 8:00 pm and I honestly thought that she was going to be up again and that I would have to put her back down. Which would have taken me a half an hour.
She didn't wake up after a half hour of putting her down so I sat down and decided to watch some T.V.
I suddenly got all antsy. "I have free time to myself without having to worry about the baby waking up soon."
The whole house was quiet as I watched Buffy the vampire slayer.
The silence was killing me.
My husband came in and asked me what I was up too. I explained to him how I felt and he was really confused as to why.
"But why? Raine's asleep and all the chores in the house are done. What do you think is bothering you?"
My husband said.
"Well.... I feel like I should be doing some kind of chore. Like I should be cleaning or preparing dinner for tomorrow. I feel like I shouldn't relax."
My husband stood up and took me to another room so I could get away from the distraction of the TV. It was really messing with my sense of ease because of the extra noise.
We talked things over and he helped me realize that it's okay for me to do things I like when I can do them.
I think that S.A.H.M. have this stereotypical reputation that says that they should be doing something constantly and criticized when they aren't. That is ridiculous. I'm NOT lazy. I make sure I have all the laundry done, dinner prepared, baby taken care, bedrooms picked up, trash dumped, cats fed etc. Before I even try and sit down. That's right I'm sitting down BLOGGING but I'm waiting for the laundry to get done.
So mother's at home, don't feel guilty for taking that time and relaxing for a moment. There is no reason we should feel this way.
I remember that when my baby was a few months old that I had the HARDEST time trying to cook dinner because my baby wanted me to hold her. But I couldn't do that because I had a gas stove. So you know what I did? I had to let her cry so I could cook dinner for my husband. We were getting assistance from the church so we didn't have things like microwave dinners. Everything we got had to be prepared and cooked on the stove or in the oven. Which in the long was healthier for us.
It was a lot of work and it was hard at times because I didn't want my baby to cry but I was the only one at home.
What was I supposed to do? I didn't want my baby to be in harms way so I did what I could.
There were a few times when I couldn't cook dinner and my husband had to have hotdogs several nights in a row.
I felt bad because I felt that since I was at home, I should be able to do that.
Who are we kidding???
When you're adapting to a new sleep schedule, a newborn, and still trying to maintain the house at that stage it's ridiculous!!!!!
I"m just now getting to the point were I can blog at least once a week and do some of the things I like without having to worry so much about my baby because she can entertain herself.
Oh and then there's the fact that once you're baby get's to the point of entertaining themselves that most couples want another baby.
REALLY??????
I think that's fine if know that you can handle it but me personally, I KNOW I can't handle that stress. Yea I have thought about having another baby but I want to wait til my baby is out of her diapers first before trying to throw another out there and having to potty train two kids at the same time ya know what I mean?
Oh the baby conversation....
Now don't get me wrong. I want twins next. Yea I 'm crazy. I just said I can't handle the stress.
But we're in a different situation than we were before. But that doesn't mean I want to have them right away. I want to wait 4 years before having another baby. That way my baby will be a toddler and going to preschool and I can then focus on taking care of the next set.
I sound terrible. Ugh.
Sorry for the long venting. I'm just frustrated that I have this invisible pressure to have more kids because I have one.
Oh and then there's that!!
Just because I have a kid doesn't automatically make me comfortable around OTHER peoples kids. I'm still terrified of my sister in laws kids and they are the sweetest kids you'll ever meet!!
I prefer staying in my own space and just entertaining my baby ALONE.
I don't mind when they come to visit mind you, but not for very long because I can get overwhelmed very easily.
Ah.
That felt good to get that out.
^-^
Sorry for the long rant. I really needed that.
Okay it's not kinda it just is.
So yesterday, Raine fell asleep at 7:30 and I got done doing dishes and cleaning up after 8:00 pm and I honestly thought that she was going to be up again and that I would have to put her back down. Which would have taken me a half an hour.
She didn't wake up after a half hour of putting her down so I sat down and decided to watch some T.V.
I suddenly got all antsy. "I have free time to myself without having to worry about the baby waking up soon."
The whole house was quiet as I watched Buffy the vampire slayer.
The silence was killing me.
My husband came in and asked me what I was up too. I explained to him how I felt and he was really confused as to why.
"But why? Raine's asleep and all the chores in the house are done. What do you think is bothering you?"
My husband said.
"Well.... I feel like I should be doing some kind of chore. Like I should be cleaning or preparing dinner for tomorrow. I feel like I shouldn't relax."
My husband stood up and took me to another room so I could get away from the distraction of the TV. It was really messing with my sense of ease because of the extra noise.
We talked things over and he helped me realize that it's okay for me to do things I like when I can do them.
I think that S.A.H.M. have this stereotypical reputation that says that they should be doing something constantly and criticized when they aren't. That is ridiculous. I'm NOT lazy. I make sure I have all the laundry done, dinner prepared, baby taken care, bedrooms picked up, trash dumped, cats fed etc. Before I even try and sit down. That's right I'm sitting down BLOGGING but I'm waiting for the laundry to get done.
So mother's at home, don't feel guilty for taking that time and relaxing for a moment. There is no reason we should feel this way.
I remember that when my baby was a few months old that I had the HARDEST time trying to cook dinner because my baby wanted me to hold her. But I couldn't do that because I had a gas stove. So you know what I did? I had to let her cry so I could cook dinner for my husband. We were getting assistance from the church so we didn't have things like microwave dinners. Everything we got had to be prepared and cooked on the stove or in the oven. Which in the long was healthier for us.
It was a lot of work and it was hard at times because I didn't want my baby to cry but I was the only one at home.
What was I supposed to do? I didn't want my baby to be in harms way so I did what I could.
There were a few times when I couldn't cook dinner and my husband had to have hotdogs several nights in a row.
I felt bad because I felt that since I was at home, I should be able to do that.
Who are we kidding???
When you're adapting to a new sleep schedule, a newborn, and still trying to maintain the house at that stage it's ridiculous!!!!!
I"m just now getting to the point were I can blog at least once a week and do some of the things I like without having to worry so much about my baby because she can entertain herself.
Oh and then there's the fact that once you're baby get's to the point of entertaining themselves that most couples want another baby.
REALLY??????
I think that's fine if know that you can handle it but me personally, I KNOW I can't handle that stress. Yea I have thought about having another baby but I want to wait til my baby is out of her diapers first before trying to throw another out there and having to potty train two kids at the same time ya know what I mean?
Oh the baby conversation....
Now don't get me wrong. I want twins next. Yea I 'm crazy. I just said I can't handle the stress.
But we're in a different situation than we were before. But that doesn't mean I want to have them right away. I want to wait 4 years before having another baby. That way my baby will be a toddler and going to preschool and I can then focus on taking care of the next set.
I sound terrible. Ugh.
Sorry for the long venting. I'm just frustrated that I have this invisible pressure to have more kids because I have one.
Oh and then there's that!!
Just because I have a kid doesn't automatically make me comfortable around OTHER peoples kids. I'm still terrified of my sister in laws kids and they are the sweetest kids you'll ever meet!!
I prefer staying in my own space and just entertaining my baby ALONE.
I don't mind when they come to visit mind you, but not for very long because I can get overwhelmed very easily.
Ah.
That felt good to get that out.
^-^
Sorry for the long rant. I really needed that.
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
My life as a mom
Raines growth
Another month has just whoosed by and to be honest I'm floored.
Baby raine is now 8 months old. She is ready learning to use the furniture and us as props to help her walk and she juat decided to do it one day. I have a feeling once she gets the strength and balance she will take off! Other developments is that she now has 2 lower incisors (2 bottom front teeth), gotten taller, gained 2 pounds, takes a bottle (yay!), now crawls on her knees And has a slight case of separation anxiety.
I love watching her grow. This is my favorite stage of hers. She's very social and enjoys smiling. She looks very close to how I did as a baby too. Big eyes, small lips and whispy blonde hair.
Another month has just whoosed by and to be honest I'm floored.
Baby raine is now 8 months old. She is ready learning to use the furniture and us as props to help her walk and she juat decided to do it one day. I have a feeling once she gets the strength and balance she will take off! Other developments is that she now has 2 lower incisors (2 bottom front teeth), gotten taller, gained 2 pounds, takes a bottle (yay!), now crawls on her knees And has a slight case of separation anxiety.
I love watching her grow. This is my favorite stage of hers. She's very social and enjoys smiling. She looks very close to how I did as a baby too. Big eyes, small lips and whispy blonde hair.
Cat tamer?
So we own this cat that just showed up one days as a kitten. Not like tiny kitten but still a kitten. He looked just like one of the other cats we used to have at the time (he died 2 months later of old age). He came before I moved here so everyone called him the "imposter" because again, he looked like our other cat yoda.
I took it upon myself to name him "po" because he reminded me of kung fu panda. He didn't really fit in at first. Well actually we don't know the gender but we say he.
Anyway, po is EXTREMELY skittish. He wouldn't let anyone come near him. It took me 6 months but I was finally able to work from being able to watch him eat and him not running off, to being able to slightly stroke him with a finger to full on back scratching. And now I can pick him up and hold him for 30 seconds without him leaping out of my hands. We're working on eye contact right now. He doesn't like to look anyone in the face.
He's my cat. I claim him as mine because no one else wants him. When I move I hope he'll let me take him so he can live with me.
I took it upon myself to name him "po" because he reminded me of kung fu panda. He didn't really fit in at first. Well actually we don't know the gender but we say he.
Anyway, po is EXTREMELY skittish. He wouldn't let anyone come near him. It took me 6 months but I was finally able to work from being able to watch him eat and him not running off, to being able to slightly stroke him with a finger to full on back scratching. And now I can pick him up and hold him for 30 seconds without him leaping out of my hands. We're working on eye contact right now. He doesn't like to look anyone in the face.
He's my cat. I claim him as mine because no one else wants him. When I move I hope he'll let me take him so he can live with me.
Tired of feeling like everyone says you have free time because you stay at home? Yea me too.
So here's the deal. I get told a lot that I should have time to do everything because I stay at home. Quite frankly, do you KNOW what my day is like? Of course you don't. Because if you did you wouldn't be asking me what I do in my spare time. I thinkn i can say for s.a.h.m everywhere that when I get a chance to sit down and watch tv, I'm constantly working on another project or playing with my baby.
Here is my daily schedule:
6:30 am:
waking up officially for her day and her first feeding with a diaper change
For the next 2 hours I clean up the house. That means start the laundry If there's a load, emptying the dishwasher, cleaning pots, sweeping, making my bed, picking up my room etc.
Here is my daily schedule:
6:30 am:
waking up officially for her day and her first feeding with a diaper change
For the next 2 hours I clean up the house. That means start the laundry If there's a load, emptying the dishwasher, cleaning pots, sweeping, making my bed, picking up my room etc.
8:30 am:
Another feeding for raine and changing her diaper
For the next 2 hours I'm doing more laundry, entertaining raine, looking up dinner ideas and figuring out what to eat for breakfast.
10:30 am
Raines first nap, changing her diaper and another feeding.
I give her a bath every 1-2 days. So I do that before her nap so she's cozy and clean. It helps her sleep better.
Now her morning naps vary between 30 minutes to an 1 hour. Its a guessing game everyday.
11:30 am
I take raine out to get the mail so she can get some outside time. I hate bees so I don't normally go outside ever. Plus there might be a yellow jacket nest somewhere so I really don't like going out. And there's a stray black lab in our neighboorhood and I don't want to know if its friendly or not.
After getting the mail with her, I come back inside and see what I can eat for lunch.
Sometimes my mother in law will come home for lunch so I at least have some adult conversation in my afternoon.
I need to shower so I stich her in the high chair and place her in the bathroom with me so I can keep an eye in her so she can see me.
12:00 pm
Raines feeding time and changing her diaper
Entertaining her and finding another project to do. From crocheting to sewing for things I need for raine. Like bibs or jackets etc
That is what I do for the next 2 hours.
2:00-3:00 pm
The battle of nap time
It's feeding time of solids, bottle of formula, diaper change and trying to put raine down for her afternoon nap. She likes to stay awake in the afternoon but she's already been up 2 hours so she's tired. Which means a fussy baby.
I do the routine mentioned and then I have one of 2 choices now.
Either I take a nap after putting her in her crib or I start preparing dinner. Depending on how elaborate it is.
I normally don't nap.
5:00 pm
Raine is now up. Feeding time, diaper change.
My mother in law will be home within the hour.
Working on the last parts of dinner.
For the next 2 hours I entertain raine and prepare for her bed time routine. Unwinding and more cleaning.
7:00 pm
The husband returns from work and showers. Baby raine is getting fussy because she's tired but won't sleep because she's happy to see everyone is home.
For the next 2 hours I work with her and comfort her. Feeding and diaper change. Also dinner time.
9:00 pm
Depending on if she's teething she might be asleep. If not she won't sleep officially til almost 10 pm
10:00 pm
Raine is finally asleep. I now have the time to talk to my now exhausted husband. The conversation is usually goodnight and see you tomorrow.
12:00 am.
Oh I'm sorry did you think I would sleep through the night?
Raines feeding. A diaper change isn't usually neccesary because she's sleeping. Depends honestly.
4:30 am
Raines feeding and diaper change.
I usually can't fall back asleep because my husband is about to get up for work and I want to see him. So I fall asleep at 5:30 ish almost 6:00 am.
And there you have it. My entire schedule. I don't do well on little sleep but I manage because I have an amazing husband and a mother in law who help me when I need it.
So in the future, don't try and make s.a.h.m feel guilty for having time to do things when they can.
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