Alright parents. It's that time for the cliche expression that you hear WAY to often. (You have been warned!)
My kid is growing up WAY to fast. She is going to be a YEAR OLD next month. It's amazing how fast they develop from that tiny little newborn into this talkative, giggly, playful, smiley, and trying new things baby. But she won't be a baby technically anymore next month. She'll be a....gulp.....toddler.
Insecurities kicking in here. I get overwhelmed thinking about her being a....toddler.......
I've had this.....fear of my daughter growing older. Not like I want to be changing diapers all my life but here's the deal.
I see my friends and family (no judging) who get pregnant after there child is about roughly almost 2 years old.
1. How in the WORLD are you emotionally ready for something like that??
2. Do you try and potty train that kid at that age?
3. Is it a mutual decision or is it just you or the other who wants too?
The questions could go on and on. Let me emphasis that I have NO problem with someone getting pregnant again after the little one turns 1. It's just ME personally that has a problem with it. There are NUMEROUS reasons why it's not a good idea for us even 6 months from now to start trying that. But that's not something up for open discussion.
To be honest, I'm terrified. I'm just getting to know this beautiful little girl that I had the blessing of receiving and getting the practice down and to think that our original plan was to try 6 months from now to get knocked up with another one???? Pffffft yea right!!!
But here's the catch. I want my kids to be spaced apart so many years but not to far apart because I like my sanity.
I'm at the point right now were I'm telling my husband that I'm done. Physically, emotionally everything. But that's not what my patriarchal blessing is telling me. For those of you who don't know that that is I've added a link so you can read it on the churches website.
To explain what I mean, it says basically that one of the greatest gifts for me would be to bring CHILDREN not CHILD into this world.
Pressure much? a little.
My husband is all ball game. Me?
Yea......right.......
I won't lie sometimes I have this kick in me going into to overdrive that tells me I physically and emotionally WANT another one. For reasons I cannot fathom or explain. I just quickly smother that thought before it evolves to quickly. So I guess there is a part of me that wants to but I have no spirit telling me that it's something I should be focusing on right now. Not only that but I love only having one baby because I'm getting sleep again! haha
So in short, I just need to practice having faith in the lord and myself. I"m terrible about doing that and I need to get my butt in gear with it again. Who knows what the good lord will have in store for me.
This is one of those topics that is so so personal. It is incredibly emotional, and in different ways for all different people. Just know that there is no right or wrong timing.
ReplyDeletePersonally, after my horrible pregnancy with my first, I went home and cried when I felt like there were more kids who were supposed to come to our family. I had moments where I felt close to them even before we considered having a second child. Almost like they were up there urging me to consider having them. And once I knew they were there waiting, anxious for a chance at coming to earth, I couldn't not invite them to come.
My point is that it is a huge blessing for us to be able to be parents. It is a really personal thing though the number of kids you have and the timing of it. It is perfectly fine to not be ready for another yet. You are doing a great job being a mom, just try not to stress about it. If you are supposed to have more kids, they will come when the timing is right. And you will either be ready for them to come, or not. Either way, you will learn from it what Heavenly Father wants you to.
Love you!
Katy
Katy said it really well, I agree with her. I didn't feel ready for...all of the children I had. But, I feel like they were supposed to come. And sometimes I felt like we were supposed to add when I did not feel ready at all. And it is hard and wonderful at the same time, I am sure you know. Having children is such a sacrifice, but it is a personal decision and there are a number of factors you oft times have to consider. But something I have learned--that Heavenly Father wants want is best for YOU. He loves you. And sometimes you can't always see the vision He has. I am with you in always trying to trust in what the Lord wants us to do! My plan was not to have three little boys so close in age! Good job for raising that little girl already with the big changes you guys have been through and all the comes with being a new parent! Seriously, it is no small thing, which of course I am sure you know. :) Good luck! Love you too!
ReplyDelete