Tales of the Narcissistic Parent.....

My brother is coming home from his Mormon mission in a week and I am SO excited to see him.  I haven't been around him for 2 years and needless to say, I can't wait to see him again.

But with the reuniting of my little brother comes the reuniting of my WHOLE family... I don't want to paint the image that they are terrible people but let's just say that I have an issue with one person in particular today anyway....

Let's get to the point.  My mother is a Narcissist.  What does that mean??? And why am I bringing it up??

Well there's to many definitions that could play here but for the sake of answering, it means it's all about "HER".  

I'm VENTING today because I'm super stressed about my trip and feel that this is a way to get it out there.

AAAnway, so I'm very very frustrated.  I called my mom today to let her know a few concerns I had for the well fare of my child.
I asked her POLIETLY if she could be more AWARE of the fact that she tends to yell a lot.  My daughter is NEVER around that and she is very sensitive to that sort of thing.  I want this to be a good experience for my daughter.  NOT a negative one.
What do you think my mom said when I told her that?
She went BERSERK.  She started bringing up all this stuff from a long time ago that had NOTHING to do with our conversation and saying that I was trying to make the conversation YUCKY because of what I had suggested to her.  And how I couldn't judge her and that she wouldn't change for me at all.  And then the cherry on the cake was when she said that if I had SUCH an issue with it, that I could make arrangements to stay with another friend while I was visiting.

OH! By the way.  I already did because I foresaw this happening MONTHS ago.
For the love of all that's holy my mom can't even RESPECT the ONE THING that would help my daughter be more comfortable.  And it's not even for me it's about my kid.  I want her to like visiting and not be frightened whenever she visits if EVER.

Hopefully these 10 days that I'm visiting will go by quickly so I don't have to spend to much time there. My mom stresses me out so much I haven't been able to sleep for a week because of some crap she'll pull while I'm there.  And my crap I mean drama.
Don't get me wrong, my mom I guess has the intentions to be a good person but she to me, feels like nothing is ever her fault.
Well I moved 2,000 miles away from her so that my daughter could grow up without having that negative energy around her CONSTANTLY.  I'm going to freaking therapy for pete sake because of her!  UGH!!

You know what she told me??  She said that She wanted to, and I quote: "Break my daughter in like the military."  She means that she'll be yelling around her because she wants her to get used to it.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME??????? With those words ALONE I shouldn't even visit!!! 

My moms nuts.  Sigh.  Thank you Jenny for being my savior and letting me spend the rest of my trip with you.

Child number 2.......When, what, how and HUH????? (NOT A PREGO ANNOUNCMENT)

Alright parents.  It's that time for the cliche expression that you hear WAY to often.  (You have been warned!)

My kid is growing up WAY to fast.  She is going to be a YEAR OLD next month.  It's amazing how fast they develop from that tiny little newborn into this talkative, giggly, playful, smiley, and trying new things baby.  But she won't be a baby technically anymore next month.  She'll be a....gulp.....toddler.

Insecurities kicking in here.  I get overwhelmed thinking about her being a....toddler.......
I've had this.....fear of my daughter growing older.  Not like I want to be changing diapers all my life but here's the deal.

I see my friends and family (no judging) who get pregnant after there child is about roughly almost 2 years old.

1. How in the WORLD are you emotionally ready for something like that??
2. Do you try and potty train that kid at that age?
3. Is it a mutual decision or is it just you or the other who wants too?

The questions could go on and on.  Let me emphasis that I have NO problem with someone getting pregnant again after the little one turns 1.  It's just ME personally that has a problem with it.  There are NUMEROUS reasons why it's not a good idea for us even 6 months from now to start trying that.  But that's not something up for open discussion.

To be honest, I'm terrified.  I'm just getting to know this beautiful little girl that I had the blessing of receiving and getting the practice down and to think that our original plan was to try 6 months from now to get knocked up with another one????  Pffffft yea right!!!

But here's the catch.  I want my kids to be spaced apart so many years but not to far apart because I like my sanity.
I'm at the point right now were I'm telling my husband that I'm done.  Physically, emotionally everything.  But that's not what my patriarchal blessing is telling me.  For those of you who don't know that that is I've added a link so you can read it on the churches website.

To explain what I mean, it says basically that one of the greatest gifts for me would be to bring CHILDREN not CHILD into this world.
Pressure much? a little.
My husband is all ball game.  Me?
Yea......right.......

I won't lie sometimes I have this kick in me going into to overdrive that tells me I physically and emotionally WANT another one.  For reasons I cannot fathom or explain.  I just quickly smother that thought before it evolves to quickly.  So I guess there is a part of me that wants to but I have no spirit telling me that it's something I should be focusing on right now.  Not only that but I love only having one baby because I'm getting sleep again! haha

So in short, I just need to practice having faith in the lord and myself.  I"m terrible about doing that and I need to get my butt in gear with it again.  Who knows what the good lord will have in store for me.

Looking forward

So there are some very good blessings taking place in our life right now.
My husband, bless his heart, got another job from one of our fellow ward members here in the ward we live in.  Honestly, they are the biggest blessing we have because if it wasn't for them, we would still be overwhelmed with trying to find another job right now for him.  Thankfully, this job is in the same town as his school so he won't have to commute to 2 different places anymore!!!!
Double blessing.  And on top of it, the gentleman he works for, works for a college in a neighboring town, so he's giving financial aid tips to my hubby and I so that way, we can get the best bang for our buck.

I have so much to be grateful for in my life.  Sometimes it can be hard because when you constantly worry about what's not going to happen, it keeps you from enjoying what you have currently right in front of you.

I sadly am a perfect description of this.  I worry so much about the future.  My husband constantly tells me I shouldn't because it's not in my control.  He figured that out after he got out of highschool which is why he knows it's possible to survive without the worry or guilt.  That's why he's my rock.  He helps me realize that no matter what happens, there will be a blessing behind a door for us to open.

I think one of the hardest times I realize what blessings I have is when I'm at home alone with nothing to do.  I finally finished all my big projects which was making aprons for the sister missionaries and making a decorated letter for my daughters room. (Pictures coming soon!)

It's hard when I have the fussy baby, who wants me to hold her but wants to be moving around at the same time.  Undecided, on what she wants.  I can tell she's tired but she won't do anything that resembles sleep.  So it's time's like that when I'm doing what I can to be patient, and she's throwing her head back and screaming at the top of her lungs.  Let me tell you, that's the hard part about parenting.  Not the hardest, but one of the trials that every parent must face.

Thankfully she fell asleep after I did my "10 minute rule" with her.  For those of you not familiar with that, it means that I give her 10 minutes to herself in her crib.  Usually with some music and a pacifier toy, so she can cry out her frustration.  Because sometimes that's all she needs to unwind.  I don't do this all the time I would hope, but when it's times like this when she's screaming and everything I try isn't working after cuddling, rocking, nursing, walking around while holding her etc.  That's when I result to this rule.

So I guess in conclusion to this post would be that, the future shouldn't be something to freak out over and naps are my best friend.

Losing my mind...

I'm warning y'all that I'm going on a ranting spree today.


I'm sure that moms will just have one of those years or days (which ever you chose).  There's always going to be some type of trial in my life that is going to give me some sort of panic attack or make me feel like I can't do anything to fix it.
Kinda like what we have going on right now.

My amazing husband was able to get into school here in Georgia (yay!).  That's really the whole point we moved here was so that he could do that.  Now the hard part.
He has to quit a job that is paying him well enough to meet our expenses and pay off our car, to were he will now be working minimum wage and only working a couple hours everyday.  The perks is that it'll be in the same town he's going to school in so that'll be good for our gas.  Sadly not for paying off car.  I don't believe in credit cards or paying off debt with debt.  But, with the circumstances we have right now, it looks like we are going to be dealing with that possibly.

I'm so frustrated because I want to do SOMETHING.  I feel powerless sitting here at home and not doing working or contributing.  That's only part 1 of why I'm losing my mind...

The other matter at hand is that I rarely ever get out much.  I don't want to go outside now that it's summer and the humidity is going to get to baby girl and me.  Even if I had a car were in the world would I go?  I don't know where things are around here and I have no one to go with.  Having a baby is great but I have no money to spend on her.
So when the family is all here and I suggest (more like beg because of the serious cabin fever), something comes up to where we don't go do anything.
That's part 2 of why I'm losing my mind....

Recently I've felt so much more closed off to people.  Especially my husband.  Our relationship is changing and evolving as we are together.  One thing I have a hard time with now is his schedule.  He's gone from 6 am til 7 pm and by the time he comes home, my baby is getting fussy and wants to go to bed.  I get irritated since i haven't had a break from her all day (I don't mind staying with her but let's be honest....mommies need a break too)
So then I go off and try to soothe her til she's tired enough to fall asleep and when all that's done, my husband is in bed and I don't get to talk to him.

I"m sure that everyone will tell me that they had a period of time in there lives when they weren't close to there spouse because of jobs or school or whatever but it's difficult for me.  Especially since we live with my mother in law.  She's awesome and helps take care of us since we can't afford to live on our own yet.  But let me tell you.  Not having your own space is hard because you don't get to do what you want too.

I'm finding it easier to stay away from people here because I have no friends here.  Therefore I just make the excuse that I don't want to do anything because I have no one to keep my company.  But when I do need to talk to someone, my poor husband has to hear all the things I would rather tell a girlfriend.  Because girls just get that sorta thing.  Guys don't.  But at least my husband is willing to listen.

Today I'm bored out of my mind.  My husbands at work, the boys went off shooting (couldn't go do that because Raine needed to take a nap and the guns are to loud for her anyway), the female in laws are talking furniture and that pretty much sums up my whole list of people I could talk to or do anything with.  All the activities we had planned for today went flying out the window so now everyone's just doing there own thing.

I"m trying to soothe my boredom by blogging but there's only so much I can write.

Well, here's to hoping something comes up so I won't go crazy.,,,,,

Dizzy spells and feeling weak... AND RAINE IS 9 months today!!!

Man it's been a while since I blogged.  I know i disappeared for a while but I'm back now :)

So I don't know what the deal is but I've been having TERRIBLE dizzy spells for the past 2 days.  I'm eating and drinking plenty of water now but even after that....
Yesterday it was so bad that I had to force myself to lie down.  Let me tell you, having a 9 month old is not easy because she wanted me to hold her but I couldn't even sit up.  So that particular one lasted for over 20 minutes.  I tried calling one of my in laws to come over and sit with me but sadly I couldn't get a hold of her.  I'm actually currently experiencing one right now.  Every time I turn my head or even move the slightest bit, my head starts to spin.  T-T.  sadness.

I need to call a doctor and let them know what's going on.  So I'll let you guys know what's going on with that later.

Moving on before I finish this, Raine just turned 9 months old today :D These past 6 months have literally just  flown by and I have no idea were they are going :P

So here are 9 things have developed just within the 9 month mark:
1. Her hair is Curling!
2. Has another tooth coming in
3. Can click her tongue
4. Can walk around the livingroom with the sofas help
5.Discovered she can climb under chairs and other obstacles
6. Slaps at water in tub to drink it off her hands.
7. Loves a combination of "chase me" and peek-a-boo
8. Refuses to let go of her animal toys so she'll crawl with 1 in each hand.
9. When we put her hands together, she'll flatten them so we'll clap them for her.


I love my baby girl so much.  She is growing up so quickly and soon enough I won't be able to catch up to her haha

Funny story:
My brother in law is getting married next week, so he is currently residing in the room where she usually sleeps.  For now she is sleeping in our room in a pac n play.
Here is what's funny.
So I had just put her down for the night and of course she didn't want to go to sleep because she was wound  up.  So what did she do after I crawled into bed and turned the lights out?
Well being the creative little bean that she is, she began throwing herself against the netting in the crib.  Not because she was angry or upset but because she was getting her extra energy out.  She would bounce back and forth on it and giggle uncontroably.  Then she would stand up and hold onto the side of the pac n play and then let her hands go and let herself fall backwards until she hit the floor of it.  Again, she would giggle and laugh and then roll around her pac n play.  Lastly she then would sit up and stare up at the ceiling (remember it's dark so you couldn't see it), then fall backwards.
Raine did this I kid you not for a half an hour!  I have no complaints because I was able to relax in bed and watch her :3

That's how I know she's mine because she's such a happy, imaginative baby :D

Day 2...Sad Day to start

WELL last night was a total disaster.  I didn't know about an afternoon snack which would have been helpful. I went WAY to long without eating because I got distracted taking care of baby face.  So when it came to the dinner portion of my day I felt so sick with my stomach cramping and nausea to boot, I couldn't really stomach juice.
So my husband being the glory of all husbands ever, took me out to eat and after eating out to help regain some ground on my hunger, it made me feel WORSE.  I honestly felt like I was pregnant again and believe me I HATED that feeling. (this is by no way an announcement either!)

So I came home and drank water to help settle my stomach and went to bed.  I woke up at 2 am feeling still miserable and took in some more water.  I didn't fall back asleep til almost four am.  Ugh.

So here I am now taking it even slower because I have to recover from yesterday after not taking it in correctly.  I'm still going to have the juice every meal but I'm going to take in regular meals first.

Wish me luck!

Now I want to say that my husband is amazing because he surprised me this morning and didn't have to work at all!
I came out of the bedroom to go and get baby and he jumped out and said he was going to make me breakfast.  YAY!

So here's to an awesome memorial day weekend!

Day 1: Feeling good so far

Just so everyone knows I am still nursing.  However, I don't have a juicer but I have a ninja.  Therefore, I am eating the pulp as well.  That way I am eating something solid and getting what I need from that.  And I'm taking in water and having small snacks here and there.  Mostly just light things because I feel satisfied with the pulp/juice mixture.

My routine: http://www.rebootwithjoe.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/5-Day-Plan_Updated.pdf

So here is my story so far:

I'm 23 years old.  I have a beautiful 8 month old daughter who I get to have the pleasure of staying at home with and watching her grow.
I hate to admit it but I eat terrible.  I only eat when I get REALLY hungry and I know that's not good for me considering that I need that energy to take care of my baby.  Plus what ever little food I get, she's getting too.  I know that when I"m eating better, she can go longer periods of time without having to nurse as frequently, because my milk is healthier.
So here's my current know how of me:

Weight: 117.2
Height: 5.1
Physical Problems: anxiety, depression, low energy, difficulty sleeping, frequent headaches and skin problems.

I'm actively working on ALL of my problems right now so there isn't a need to worry about it.  So far I'm making progress on all the mentioned above items.

I'm really embarrassed about mentioning what I have issues with right now but I have to prove to myself that I'm not going to let little things like this keep me in the way of going the distance and fixing my body so that I can become a better person inside and out!

So today I started with having a glass of warm water with lemon juice in it.  Let me tell me, I had a massive case of heart burn this morning so that did NOT help.  But once I got to eating the first meal of the day with my carrots, apples and lemon today, he went away! Baby girl even wanted to try some and she ended up loving it too!

Carrot-Apple-Lemon
4 carrots
2 Apples
1 lemon

As for the taste, it was actually pretty good.  I thought it would taste funky considering that it didn't have anything in it to help sweeten it but to be honest it was nice to not have to sweeten it.
As for energy, I feel really good right now :)

Now as for the exercise part of my day, I do yoga in the morning and in the evening.  I've been doing it for the past week and my back hasn't felt this good since before I was pregnant! And even then I still had issues with it.

Afternoon-

I successfully did a half hour of yoga with my husbands grandma linda, as well as went on a walk with her.

Upon returning I am now trying out the green portion of the day.

Garden Variety
2 apples
2 cucumbers
6-8 kale leaves
(Australian Tuscan cabbage)**
1 handful of parsley

Now I didn't have cabbage but I do have broccoli.  In the substitution list, it says if I don't have that then I could do this instead.

Not going to lie, it doesn't look appetizing.... as for taste..... well considering that I'm eating the pulp too, it's actually not that bad.  I like kale a lot so that doesn't bother me to much to taste the texture of it. I can also say that it does taste a little like dirt but I'm trying not to think about it or else it'll get to me :p

Rebooting my system....with JUICING????

So here's the deal.  I've been wanting to detox my system since FOREVER ago.  And I've gotten a strong impression that I should do just that.
Now I know what you're thinking.  "Your still nursing????"  Yea I know.  But either way, babies getting all the bad toxins in my body way before I even decided to juice my way to a healthier life style.    I find that today's world is promoting us to get fat and just take medicine to get rid of it.  You know my response?
Work out and eat healthier.
But how would one who stays at home do that you ask?

I watched a documentary (which I'm addicted to watching those type of shows) called: Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead. 
It talks about this guy named Joe from Australia, who was overweight and had health problems.  So what did he do?  For 60 DAYS that's right 60, he went on a strict only Juicing diet and water.  He found that with committment and a turn around on healthier eating and exercise that he was able to get off his prescription drugs and turn himself around completely.  He was monitored by doctors the whole time to check and see his progress and make sure he wasn't putting himself into any danger.  The doctors actually loved what he was doing and told him to keep up the healthy life style.
Now after 60 days, he broke his "fast" as he calls it (he was taking a break from everything like dairy, meat, breads and such). He detoxed himself enough to were it made it easier for his body to handle a different food diet.
That's what I"m going to do.
This was the most inspirational movie I've ever watched and I'm so glad that I finally took the time to watch it.

I'm only doing it 5-6 days mind you because I'm not overweight and have all the problems that he had.  Again, it's only to get my body to restart and then start eating healthier.  It'll also allow me to get the bad stuff out of Raine too.  I feel terrible knowing that I had a part in giving her all the stuff in her body that gives her low energy and other things of that nature.

Right now I'm using this website: http://www.rebootwithjoe.com/rebooting/ (he's the fellow that did the documentary)
To help get me started on my new journey.  Now he recommends not doing it if your pregnant or nursing.  But i've read from other moms like me that it's okay but to take it very slowly.  That means not just jumping into nothing but juicing head on but to add it to eating your solid food still and then slowly working down to that.

So I'll make another post about my story so that way this one isn't so long :p
cheers!

It's booming out here!

So last night we had THE most EPIC thunderstorm I've ever experienced out here thus far.
It shook the entire house with each crack of thunder.  The lightning lit up the whole backyard.  Illuminating the rainfall as it poured hard, and thick onto the grass.

I jumped when I heard the first set start.  I giggled and looked at my husband and mother-in-law.  They both just glanced at each other and Caleb replied: "That's what I've missed about the south.  It only get's better as we go deeper into summer."
Man I freakin love it!!!
However there are a few cons about having a storm like that over us.  We have to unplug the internet or else it'll fry our modem. That and Arresa and I have to scramble and pull out all the candles so that in case the electricity goes out (which it has before with a smaller storm) we can see at night.  We also prepare blankets and clean up the house and always have dinner made and ready to eat so in case again, if we lose power, we  won't have to worry about warming up our food.

I've been a little paranoid ever since Arresa told me that if it looks yellow outside, that means there is a tornado warning most likely to happen and that we need to find shelter.  That and I have to keep a close eye on the Peachtree weather system so that we can see if there is anything else coming our way.

Luckily, the pine trees that they used to have on there property are long gone due to other storms that had struck them or fallen.  Pine trees are the worst kind of tree to have because even with the bigger ones with the roots deep in the ground, they are the ones that always fall and cause damage.  Our neighbors behind us and across the street have some that are pretty big.  Hopefully they won't fall on us because I like the house I live in!

Only other news I have is that I found a super good deal on a treadmill.  I was at a yard sale were my mother in law was buying me a dinette.  The seller was trying to get rid of everything out on the lawn and I got it for....wait for it..... 25 dollars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Yes it still works and believe me, I'm excited to use it once I have the room for it haha.  It just needs some oil to help the squeaky wheels and then I'll be all set!

Hardest part about staying at home

In earlier rants, I would mention how hard it is from one side, the difficulty of having someone that needed my constant attention 24/7. How people assumed, that I was lazy just because I stay at home.

But here's something to ponder on.

What am I supposed to do in my free time when my baby is asleep and I actually do have everything done?

Let's be blunt here.

It's probably the hardest part about staying at home.  On top of that, I just moved to a new place and have NO friends out here.  I don't have anyone I can call on the phone and talk to.  The time difference is 2 hours ahead from where I used to live so I can't just assume they'll not be busy.
I have made the occasional call or text every so often but it's a lonely game we face, us moms.

We expect to do so much while the husbands away.  When he does come home and sometimes relieves me so I can have a break I try to think of something to do so I can relax.
We're in no position for me to be going off alone and go sight seeing.  Everything is about a half hour away from where we live so traveling is pointless.  The main stuff in town is fast food joints and a grocery store so there's also no point going to those places unless I want to spend money.
I've tried walking outside but by the time I do that, it's so late that I'm endangering myself and that is what got me scolded by 3 different people for my stupidity.

I guess the main reason I"m posting this is that for some moms you can't help but feel this way.  And it's okay.  You're not alone.  I'm 23 and a mormon in the south.  The south isn't bad by any means, but were in the WORLD am I going to go and find people my age?  Let alone someone that doesn't give me a weird look and rolls there eyes when I say I'm LDS/mormon?

How do i fix that?

Well for now all I can do is vent about it but I'm looking for a penpal to write to so that I can feel like I have someone to talk too.  I talk to my husband of course but they'll fill in the gaps for the time he isn't here.

So all in all.  Don't feel guilty because you are doing nothing wrong.

Grassy Adventure!......Being punished for trying to stay fit

So yesterday was pretty eventful day!
Raine enjoyed her first time crawling in grass and playing with some of our cats mittens and patches along with getting some fun in the sun.
Now I never go outside because I'm super paranoid about being stung by bees or fire ants and I think I'm allergic to some kind of pollen or grass or something but I have no idea what it is.
She also helped me with the laundry (mostly helping me stall anyway lol).  I sit her in the laundry basket after I put the clothes in it and I pull her around in it.  She enjoys it as you can see.  I get a kick out of it to because she's full of giggles as I take her through the house in it.  She loves boxes, hampers and over hangs.

The darker cat is patches and the gray cat is mittens.  One of these days I'll be able to capture Poe when he's around.

Mittens is the testy one so I was busy trying to keep mittens at a relative distance that I wasn't paying attention enough to the fact that patches was curious about Raine too.  I'm pretty sure they don't like her now .

I don't know what my deal was but I was having some SERIOUS issues relaxing before turning in for the night.  My usual relaxation of playing with mittens and or patches ( our cats) or just simply watching some T.V. did nothing to help me unwind.
So I decided to get my shoes on and try running it off. At 10 pm.  It was stupid to go by myself but I was so restless! I headed to the dirt track that is about a block away from were I live and push the negative mojo out that way.
I was doing pretty good considering I haven't done any heavy exercise since before I was pregnant.  My nose was starting to run and I used my hand as a tissue since I had nothing else to use. (gross I know but I'm only human) I mention this because it plays a crucial part later in my story.

After finishing my run, I walked back to the house and felt pretty good.  I was sore, tasted blood in my mouth but I felt good.  And tired.  Tired enough that if I were to lie down I could fall asleep.
That's what exactly what I wanted since I couldn't do that earlier.

I got home and collapsed on the couch.  It felt good to lie down and just stretch my sore limbs and feel the burn of a good run.  My husband came out of our room and greeted me even though he was exhausted he was worried sick about me.  (aww he still cares :3)
So he got me a glass of water and I began to notice that my hand was itchy and burned a little.  I scratched it not really thinking about it.
After a few minutes I stood up and went to pour the rest of the water on my hand because it was bothering me.  So I went to the sink and turned the light on so that I could see what I was doing.  I began pouring the water on my hand when I noticed that it had broken out into hives!!!  HIVES people!!!
I got my husband and mother in law to look at it.  For the life of me I can't figure out what in the world I did to have my hand break out so badly!  I walked in the grass but didn't touch it with my hands.  I inspected my legs and there were no hives there.  So it couldn't have been the grass.  Also considering that I had been outside earlier that day with my daughter and hadn't broken out anywhere else.
I did have some quinoa for dinner (which was the first time I've ever had it) but I wasn't breaking out anywhere and I was breathing just fine.

I saw that I had a little bit on the upper part of my left arm along with a new spot beginning on my collar bone.  EEK!
So my husband took my clothes and I showered.  I was in there for a while and I can honestly say that was the deepest cleaning I have ever done.  I scrubbed and washed everything at least 5 times and I still didn't feel clean enough.  I was so paranoid that whatever was on my skin was going to stay there and that the hives would never go away!

I eventually went to bed and when I woke up this morning the hives were gone.  YAY!  So here's the moral of the story:
1. Don't work out late
2. Running on a familiar track isn't always the best idea
3. Outside environmental stuff hates me
4. I'm allergic to something and I'm not sure what in the heck it is.
In summary to what I mentioned, I'm never going outside again.  Just another thing to add to the list of reasons why I won't.  It goes right next to fear of bees and dogs.

Ever feel like when you finally have that free time you get nervous??

So this is kinda a follow up to the last post I made.
Okay it's not kinda it just is.

So yesterday, Raine fell asleep at 7:30 and I got done doing dishes and cleaning up after 8:00 pm and I honestly thought that she was going to be up again and that I would have to put her back down. Which would have taken me a half an hour.
She didn't wake up after a half hour of putting her down so I sat down and decided to watch some T.V.

I suddenly got all antsy.  "I have free time to myself without having to worry about the baby waking up soon."

The whole house was quiet as I watched Buffy the vampire slayer.

The silence was killing me.
My husband came in and asked me what I was up too.  I explained to him how I felt and he was really confused as to why.
"But why?  Raine's asleep and all the chores in the house are done.  What do you think is bothering you?"
My husband said.

"Well.... I feel like I should be doing some kind of chore.  Like I should be cleaning or preparing dinner for tomorrow.  I feel like I shouldn't relax."

My husband stood up and took me to another room so I could get away from the distraction of the TV.  It was really messing with my sense of ease because of the extra noise.

We talked things over and he helped me realize that it's okay for me to do things I like when I can do them.  

I think that S.A.H.M. have this stereotypical reputation that says that they should be doing something constantly and criticized when they aren't.  That is ridiculous.  I'm NOT lazy.  I make sure I have all the laundry done, dinner prepared, baby taken care, bedrooms picked up, trash dumped, cats fed etc.  Before I even try and sit down.  That's right I'm sitting down BLOGGING but I'm waiting for the laundry to get done.

So mother's at home, don't feel guilty for taking that time and relaxing for a moment.  There is no reason we should feel this way.
I remember that when my baby was a few months old that I had the HARDEST time trying to cook dinner because my baby wanted me to hold her.  But I couldn't do that because I had a gas stove.  So you know what I did?  I had to let her cry so I could cook dinner for my husband.  We were getting assistance from the church so we didn't have things like microwave dinners.  Everything we got had to be prepared and cooked on the stove or in the oven.  Which in the long was healthier for us.

It was a lot of work and it was hard at times because I didn't want my baby to cry but I was the only one at home.
What was I supposed to do?  I didn't want my baby to be in harms way so I did what I could.

There were a few times when I couldn't cook dinner and my husband had to have hotdogs several nights in a row.
I felt bad because I felt that since I was at home, I should be able to do that.

Who are we kidding???
When you're adapting to a new sleep schedule, a newborn, and still trying to maintain the house at that stage it's ridiculous!!!!!
I"m just now getting to the point were I can blog at least once a week and do some of the things I like without having to worry so much about my baby because she can entertain herself.

Oh and then there's the fact that once you're baby get's to the point of entertaining themselves that most couples want another baby.

REALLY??????
I think that's fine if know that you can handle it but me personally, I KNOW I can't handle that stress.  Yea I have thought about having another baby but I want to wait til my baby is out of her diapers first before trying to throw another out there and having to potty train two kids at the same time ya know what I mean?

Oh the baby conversation....
Now don't get me wrong.  I want twins next.  Yea I 'm crazy.  I just said I can't handle the stress.
But we're in a different situation than we were before.  But that doesn't mean I want to have them right away.  I want to wait 4 years before having another baby.  That way my baby will be a toddler and going to preschool and I can then focus on taking care of the next set.
I sound terrible.  Ugh.

Sorry for the long venting.  I'm just frustrated that I have this invisible pressure to have more kids because I have one.

Oh and then there's that!!
Just because I have a kid doesn't automatically make me comfortable around OTHER peoples kids.  I'm still terrified of my sister in laws kids and they are the sweetest kids you'll ever meet!!
I prefer staying in my own space and just entertaining my baby ALONE.
I don't mind when they come to visit mind you, but not for very long because I can get overwhelmed very easily.

Ah.
That felt good to get that out.
^-^

Sorry for the long rant.  I really needed that.

My life as a mom

Raines growth
Another month has just whoosed by and to be honest I'm floored.
Baby raine is now 8 months old. She is ready learning to use the furniture and us as props to help her walk and she juat decided to do it one day. I have a feeling once she gets the strength and balance she will take off! Other developments is that she now has 2 lower incisors (2 bottom front teeth), gotten taller, gained 2 pounds, takes a bottle (yay!), now crawls on her knees And has a slight case of separation anxiety.
I love watching her grow. This is my favorite stage of hers. She's very social and enjoys smiling. She looks very close to how I did as a baby too. Big eyes, small lips and whispy blonde hair.

Cat tamer?

So we own this cat that just showed up one days as a kitten. Not like tiny kitten but still a kitten. He looked just like one of the other cats we used to have at the time (he died 2 months later of old age). He came before I moved here so everyone called him the "imposter" because again, he looked like our other cat yoda.
I took it upon myself to name him "po" because he reminded me of kung fu panda. He didn't really fit in at first.  Well actually we don't know the gender but we say he.
Anyway, po is EXTREMELY skittish. He wouldn't let anyone come near him. It took me 6 months but I was finally able to work from being able to watch him eat and him not running off, to being  able to slightly stroke him with a finger to full on back scratching. And now I can pick him up and hold him for 30 seconds without him leaping out of my hands. We're working on eye contact right now. He doesn't like to look anyone in the face.
He's my cat. I claim him as mine because no one else wants him. When I move I hope he'll let me take him so he can live with me.

Tired of feeling like everyone says you have free time because you stay at home? Yea me too. 

So here's the deal. I get told a lot that I should have time to do everything because I stay at home. Quite frankly, do you KNOW what my day is like? Of course you don't. Because if you did you wouldn't be asking me what I do in my spare time.  I thinkn i can say for s.a.h.m everywhere that when I get a chance to sit down and watch tv, I'm constantly working on another project or playing with my baby.
Here is my daily schedule:

6:30 am:
waking up officially for her day and her first feeding with a diaper change
For the next 2 hours I clean up the house. That means start the laundry If there's a load, emptying the dishwasher, cleaning pots, sweeping, making my bed, picking up my room etc.

8:30 am:
Another feeding for raine and changing her diaper
For the next 2 hours I'm doing more laundry, entertaining raine, looking up dinner ideas and figuring out what to eat for breakfast.

10:30 am
Raines first nap, changing her diaper and another feeding.
I give her a bath every 1-2 days. So I do that before her nap so she's cozy and clean. It helps her sleep better.
Now her morning naps vary between 30 minutes to an 1 hour. Its a guessing game everyday.

11:30 am
I take raine out to get the mail so she can get some outside time. I hate bees so I don't normally go outside ever. Plus there might be a yellow jacket nest somewhere so I really don't like going out. And there's a stray black lab in our neighboorhood and I don't want to know if its friendly or not.
After getting the mail with her, I come back inside and see what I can eat for lunch.
Sometimes my mother in law will come home for lunch so I at least have some adult conversation in my afternoon.
I need to shower so I stich her in the high chair and place her in the bathroom with me so I can keep an eye in her so she can see me.

12:00 pm
Raines feeding time and changing her diaper
Entertaining her and finding another project to do. From crocheting to sewing for things I need for raine. Like bibs or jackets etc
That is what I do for the next 2 hours.

2:00-3:00 pm
The battle of nap time
It's feeding time of solids, bottle of formula, diaper change and trying to put raine down for her afternoon nap. She likes to stay awake in the afternoon but she's already been up 2 hours so she's tired. Which means a fussy baby.
I do the routine mentioned and then I have one of 2 choices now.
Either I take a nap after putting her in her crib or I start preparing dinner. Depending on how elaborate it is.
I normally don't nap.

5:00 pm
Raine is now up. Feeding time, diaper change.
My mother in law will be home within the hour.
Working on the last parts of dinner.
For the next 2 hours I entertain raine and prepare for her bed time routine. Unwinding and more cleaning.

7:00 pm
The husband returns from work and showers. Baby raine is getting fussy because she's tired but won't sleep because she's happy to see everyone is home.
For the next 2 hours I work with her and comfort her. Feeding and diaper change. Also dinner time.

9:00 pm
Depending on if she's teething she might be asleep. If not she won't sleep officially til almost 10 pm

10:00 pm
Raine is finally asleep. I now have the time to talk to my now exhausted husband. The conversation is usually goodnight and see you tomorrow.

12:00 am.
Oh I'm sorry did you think I would sleep through the night?
Raines feeding. A diaper change isn't usually neccesary because she's sleeping. Depends honestly.

4:30 am
Raines feeding and diaper change.
I usually can't fall back asleep because my husband is about to get up for work and I want to see him. So I fall asleep at 5:30 ish almost 6:00 am.

And there you have it. My entire schedule. I don't do well on little sleep but I manage because I have an amazing husband and a mother in law who help me when I need it.
So in the future, don't try and make s.a.h.m feel guilty for having time to do things when they can.

Fun weekend planned april 2013

So today is full of adventure!
Im at the salon getting my hair re coloured and my hubby is reading jesus the Christ to raine in Portuguese.
(she loves it)
So we got shopping planned and a few other things as well.
In the pictures, we had just gotten done changing her and caleb decided to put her pants on her head. I thought it to be pretty hilarious and ended up playing with them for a while. (that was yesterday)
This morning, raine was in another playful mood so we played with her again for some time before leaving for my appt. We were late but it was well worth it because these moments are hard to come by when he's busy working.

Feeling humble...

Today I want to talk about something that happens sometimes to many women......It's a very sensitive subject and with what I write, I by NO MEANS am aiming to rub it in your face or make you feel worse about it.....
I am writing this because I want to thank you for being brave enough to post or even share those precious experiences you have.
I thank you again in advance, for teaching me to be humble and grateful for what I have.

So here I am.  Sitting in my room, killing time, as my daughter is crying in her crib.  Sometimes I have to let her sit in her crib and cry a little because she is so wound up that rocking isn't enough.  So I do what parent's do and let her cry for 10 minutes and when I return she either is asleep or has calmed down to were I can help.  So it's so she doesn't get sick of me or me of her.  It works out beautifully and what works for us.
I mention this because it's important to know the scene.......
I was looking at one of my families blogs and catching up on how they were doing.  After scanning through the information on how they were doing and seeing the pictures, a blog my aunt was following caught my attention.  I love to read other's blogs and this one seemed to be about another family.  So I went ahead and clicked on it and decided to check it out.
As the screen loaded the blog, a picture of the family was the first thing I noticed.  It was the couple together on there wedding day and then a picture of 2 young children.  One was a newborn and the other looked to be a year or so.
It took me a moment to realize that there was something odd about how the newborn looked.  As I stared and studied the picture, it dawned on me that there WAS something wrong with the baby.  As my eyes dropped down the screen, I saw another picture of said newborn and a timeline that said roughly how long the baby had left this earth and returned to our heavenly father.

My heart sank.
Emotions ran over me completely.  Sadness and remorse for this mother consumed me.   I scrolled to the bottom of her posts so that I could see what had happened to her little family.
Her son had been stillborn.......lost in the last trimester of her pregnancy....
That's all I can write about the situation itself because if I write more, I won't be able to see my screen.

That is what I would like to talk about.

I didn't look up statistics or anything but I know that I read a few articles and stories lately about this happening to mothers recently or like the one I read, in the past.

Now I personally don't have any experience with this but I can say that I'm very grateful to have my daughter here with me.  I know that I'm selfish and think sometimes what it would be like to not have her here and what I could be doing.
Heavenly father has a funny way of giving me a slap in the face when I need it.  This is one of those times when I needed it.

I was again, selfishly thinking about my anniversary  next month and contemplating what it would be like if Raine was older if this, or if that.
It's normal to feel this way but I still have guilt for thinking this way.

It's very heart renching for me to read stories like the one I just did but I'm glad that those brave, courageous mothers, are willing to share there stories of there babies with me.  It's a way for me to feel like I'm socializing in a way because I'm reading what they feel.

After reading said blog, I composed myself and checked on my baby girl.  She was sleeping in the funniest of  poses with her rump stuck straight up in the air and her mouth hanging wide open.  I giggled to myself as I stared at my little girl.  I thought to myself in that small moment....."I made her. She's here with me and look at how precious she is."
Being a mother is hard work.  I'm a stay at home mom but I understand how hard it can be to leave your little one even for an hour.  I applaud working moms because I don't know if I'm the type of person who could do that.
I'm proud to be a mom.  It's been a long time for me to say that but reading this story just let it click in my head that I am one and how happy the joy is to have that little one in my arms.
Playing with me, Laughing with me.....I'm so humble to have those experiences when i know others don't.  Again I by no means am trying to make you feel worse if you aren't able to have children.  I just want to express how I feel about my daughter because I know that her life is so precious to me.

She is growing up so fast and I know that it's really cliche to say that but it's really true.  March has just FLOWN by and April is right around the corner.  She'll be a year old before I know it and I hope that I can capture those moments with her the best way I can.

Tendinitis...??????? And yummy fudge. :0

Soooooo for those that may not know me, I am OBSESSED with yarn.  Or in other words crocheting.  I love to make things with my hands and be creative and artistic.  The possibilities are endless with yarn!!!
Sadly that has lead to my wrist on my left hand getting injured....
It's been bugging me for some time now but it's gotten worse over the past month and the past WEEK it's gotten so bad I had to buy a splint from Wallgreens to keep it from moving because the pain was increasing each day.
I saw the Doc about it and she informed me that I had to get a prescribed splint to limit mobility and get X-rays.  She said that it might be tendinitis or something with my joint because it is popping like C-RAZY and it  hurts quite a bit.  I have to wear the guard all day or else I can't pick up my baby without having to drop her and shifting her to my other hand.
Ironically, it's my non-dominant hand that is giving me all the trouble so I have no clue why it's being so stubborn and acting up so much.

So if you don't know what tendinitis is, I looked it up on the mayoclinic.com website and this is what they describe it as:

Tendinitis is inflammation or irritation of a tendon — any one of the thick fibrous cords that attaches muscle to bone. The condition causes pain and tenderness just outside a joint. While tendinitis can occur in any of your body's tendons, it's most common around your shoulders, elbows, wrists and heels.

So I won't know for a month what the world it is because my doc hasn't called me about the results yet.  All I know is that my right hand is getting it too and I'm looking forward to another wrist guard on my other hand :p


Now in other news,
Today is a special day for me and I got raine all dolled up for cuteness just in case I plan on going somewhere later.  

(This picture below was taken yesterday)

 Baby Raine is a joyful, young spirit that is experimenting with crawling.  It's pretty entertaining to watch her til she falls and smacks her head on the ground. But that's how babies learn is through trial and error.

I had my amazing sister in law make me some cake batter fudge and it is AMAZING.  She found it on her pinterest and I LOVE it.  It's so good that I will hog it to myself and not share it.  LOL Besides, my in laws and hubby don't like sweets like I do.
It's cake and it's alllll mine :3

A boring day....

So today is pretty uneventful and I'm bored out of my mind.
Even when baby raine is up I have nothing to do and I don't want to plaster myself in front of the TV just to entertain myself when she's occupying her time with toys.  I do my best to play with her when I can because I know she needs interaction time with me.  But that can be hard to maintain when she's still so little and I have myself have a VERY short attention span.

I've done all that I can to keep myself busy.  From laundry to doing kitchen cleaning and doing the daily ritual of Raine's feeding and things.  For the past 2 hours I've had time to relax but due to the fact that I have to keep my hands busy because I lack the ability to stay still, it can be challenging.

I would crochet but I have to put a halt to that due to the reason being that I have a problem with my wrist and it popping out of place for some reason.

Hopefully something will happen today because I'm tired of watching youtube :p

Past weekend....St Patricks and family visit!

So this past weekend has been pretty good I'd have to say :D

My husbands dad came home from Argentina to spend about roughly 10 days or so with us.  It's going by pretty quickly to and he has a lot to get down while he's here so we have to work as a team to help get those things done.  Mostly trying to kick in more cooking and cleaning since there's another guy in the house.

So on Friday we went on our usual date and enjoyed going to Pickle Barrel and Cafe/sports bar.

source

  They have the BEST fries in Georgia I've ever eaten. (sorry you haven't beaten out my ultra favorite Utah fry the Sweet Potato cajun fries)
They dip them in a beer batter and then deep fry the already fried french fry!  It's pretty amazing.

Raine was in high spirits and enjoyed the lively surroundings of the people and of course the TV's that covered every wall.  Some with channels featuring gold to others about fishing.
Our waitress was sweet to our baby and entertained her while we were waiting for our food when she could spare a moment.
I always leave a note on my receipts because I want to let the one's serving us how much I do appreciate there time and energy.  Especially on a busy friday night.
I got WAY to much fried food for myself and I've never been able to eat it in abudance like my husband can.  So I got a to go box and a greek salad to go.  Which is my absolute favorite.  If I was pregnant I couldn't eat it due to the feta cheese but thankfully i'm not this year!

Saturday we traveled about roughly 45 minutes to an 1 hour up to Eatonton, Georgia to visit my sister in law and her family.  Now let me tell you, seeing all those "creeks" as my husband calls it, got me hyperventilating because i"m DEATHLY afraid of water.
That's another story for another time because there were many things that lead to me having such a great fear of water.
We arrived and got things together so we could go to Crooked Pine Farms to do a variety of events.  From an egg launch to hay rides.

Doing the egg launch was AWESOME because I shot it the farthest...which wasn't the goal but I felt pretty good about it anyway.  My brother in law was the only one out of all of us that managed to hit the target.  Either way it was still loads of fun.
It was also pretty comical because my amazing husband was also trying to shoot his eggs pretty far.  He dropped the same egg 3 times before he was finally able to see it soar through the blue skies of the south and almost hit the target. Reminded me of our wedding day when he was trying to shoot the garter he got off my leg.  It also took him 3 times to shoot it.  Twice in the face actually.  Oh the memories....
Moving on,
We stayed for I believe an hour because the 4 children we had with us were beginning to tire.  So we loaded up and headed back to there home.
We ended up staying at there gorgeous home until the late evening.  We were watching the Bond movies which I had never seen and also spending time with them.

Sunday or yesterday, was St. Patricks Day. My husband and I had been practicing to sing in the choir for ward conference for the past couple weeks so my spouse was very excited for sunday.
I however was not looking forward to it. I DREAD being in front of people because I have become something of a introvert and don't like being in front of people or talking to anyone much anymore.  So I wasn't looking forward to being in front of people. To tell you the truth I actually love singing but I'm self concious of the way I sound due to negative critiscm and my own awareness of how badly I sound.  I go to choir to try and support my husband while also secretly trying to improve.

We got there as early as we could and sat up on the stands practicing with everyone else. We were able to sing the opening song and the prelude as the session began.  I made my exit off the stage as I went outside the chapel because Raine was not going to last in the sacrament room.
I stayed outside the entire session and wasn't able to make it back inside due to her being extremely fussy and refusing to let me sit down.
Caleb even got stuck out there with me because I asked for him to help me with her because I hadn't eaten anything and was loosing energy standing and rocking.  Sadly, he didn't get to sing in the choir and I felt AWFUL knowing it was my fault for making him leave the stand so he could come and help me.  Seeing the disappoitment on his face was hard to see because I knew how much he had been looking forward to singing  for today.

After the first meeting, church DRAGGED out and for me in a already sour mood from little sleep the night before, to not eating I could say I didn't want to talk to anyone.
The meetings went by though and thankfully Caleb held baby Raine so that I could get a break since she slept for a half hour during church.
After the meeting, the southerners like do a pot luck after there ward conferences so we enjoyed eating together.
My mother in law had come and taken the baby from me so I could eat because I knew my husband hadn't eaten that morning either because he was SO excited to get to church.  That was nice of her to do that for not just me but my husband since we needed that small break.

After the gathering and my husband fulfilling his calling, we returned home and enjoyed the company of Caleb's parents.  His mom had just gotten back from the airport earlier and brought her husband home.
Soon his sister and her family along with his brother and new wife arrived at his parents home so we could enjoy each other's company.
As we were all eating dinner, my brother in law and new sister in law announced that they had a mini weathers on the way and I am so happy for them!  I love making things for my friends having babies so I hope that they don't mind me making them a bib or two for the new little one.

The rest of the day was nice with catching up and going on walks with the family.  We all played games with the kids and made plans for the following week together.
My father in law got soccer jerseys for the youngest kids that are the opposing teams and they fit perfectly. Raine is looked so stinking cute!!!!!!!!
My daughter was so exhausted from the events of the day that she went to bed at seven which is unheard and didn't wake up til 3:30 am the following morning.

Which leads me to today.
My day began at 3:30 this morning due to my daughter getting a full 8 hours of sleep and not in any mood to go back to bed.
I was to tired to try and stay in there and keep her company so I put her back in her crib with a pacifier and hopped back in bed.  Around 5 am my daughter (still awake since 3:30) began screaming frantically.  I threw on a robe and dashed into her room and found her legs stuck in the bars of the crib.  Now I have a bumper that goes in and out of the bars but she managed to push it down and get caught.  She tried getting herself out but only made the problem worse by twisting herself to the point that if I left her like that for much longer she would have popped her legs out of place.
The crib is pretty old so things like that are bound to happen.

Sadly since I had been up for almost 2 hours, my poor husband was woken up by all the ruckus from my daughter.  Upon coming back from my daughters room, there was a small roach on the carpet and I HATE bugs.  Roaches are new to me and I don't like hearing the crunching sound when they get squished.  Plus I didn't want bug juice on the carpet.  I put a glass over it and since my husband was coming back from the kitchen after getting a glass of water, I asked him to dispose of it.
He didn't want to but being the person he is, he helped this "damsel in distress" and got rid of it for me.  That little adventure ended up waking up my mother in law because when he went to put it in the toilet, he thought the bug had gotten out of the jar and onto his hand.  Thus leading into him trying to get rid of it and the glass jar bouncing and hitting a few things in the bathroom.  It even startled me because I thought he had tripped.
When coming to learn that the "roach" he thought had escaped was just a string attached to the jar.
Poor caleb...
I didn't end up really sleeping til almost 8 am.  I slept in til 10:30 am and Raine I'm guessing had woken up at some point before 9 am but I was to tired to get her so she went back to sleep on her own and didn't wake up again til 11 am.

So my day half gone, I started on my chores and the daily routine with Raine.
It is now almost 6 pm and I just finished with everything I needed to do.  My hubby will be home shortly and I can't wait to see him since he leaves at 7 am every morning.

6 months time.....

My beautiful, sweet, playful, adorable, giggly, daughter turned 6 months today!!!!!!! The poor dear is teething something fierce so here eyes are all swollen, her gums are puffy, a slight fever and a runny nose to boot! But that doesn't keep her from smiling and still having a good time.  The one were she is in her hair chair reminds me of my husband.  He makes that face all the time when he's trying to be coy haha.

Time is flying by for my little family and I'm happy but also bummed because I can't seem to catch up some days.

Honestly I can't remember being pregnant thanks to the wonders of a mommy brain I have :p
But can you believe that????

I'm sure for many moms out there that you know exactly what I'm talking about.
For those who don't you will someday.

Here are 25 items I've learned over the course of Raine's life........

1. TEN MINUTES is the best rule that you will ever have with a baby. (Why? Because it can take that long for them to finish a diaper to whining.)
2. Changing a baby can result in never wanting to eat certain foods again.
3.  Banisters are there for a reason.
4. Don't assume something won't fit them just because the tag says it might not
5. TV and other forms of technology can take away the time with baby
6. Burp cloth? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Try towels!
7. Baby books will be another bible for you
8. You can never have to many blankets
9. There will won't be enough pictures of your little one!!
10. Sleeping will be missed
11. Peek a boo is my favorite game
12. You never know how much stress can affect them
13. Being paranoid is a good thing...even when other's don't think so
14. Having a mental list of things to check off in your head are always a good thing to remember
15. Routines are good for babies sanity
16. Cuddle time will disappear
17. Baby can miss you...even when they can't say it in words
18. Planning 3 hours ahead is better for your sanity
19. Keep extra dish cloths and pajamas by the bed
20. Pacifiers-bottles can be helpful if used correctly
21. Having toys in your purse are better then nothing
22. A spare change of clothes for both of you is always a good idea
23. Nursing has NO cons- especially when the baby is hungry
24. Dad's CAN play with baby too
25. Piano music is a good "soothing" tool

Well that's all I can think of right of the top of my head for now.  Of course there is more but these are one's that got me the most. :3

My daughter is trying solids foods!

Raine my adorable daughter is growing up so fast it's insane!
I remember being pregnant this time last year and I'm thankful I'm not this year.
She is turning 6 months old next week and I can't get over just how fast time has flown by for my little family.
Within a year we have:

• Moved twice, once to a new apartment for 3 months and then cross country and been living in our new residence for 3 months
• Found out we were having a baby and then had said baby
•  we are getting ready for school once again.
• And I changed my hair color from blonde to expresso to chocolate brown!

So I decided that it was time for her to start having something new for food because for all those moms out there and for those preparing in the future, (this might seem T.M.I but you'll find out anyway)
Your nipples get SUPER sore after a while.  Now after a some time they do get numb but you still have problems with them every so often.  

Now the other issue we have is that we our have our 2 year anniversary coming up and Raine needs a different feeding schedule and way to sleep because I need to get out every so often.  I got 2 months to do that so wish me luck :P

Here we decided to after talking with my sister in law that we were going to give her Green beans first.  Now I DETEST green beans thanks to my parents along with a lot of other vegetables but this is the one thing I REFUSE to eat no matter how it's dressed up.

But Raine LOVED it.  Just like her daddy.

Now today I gave her peas and she enjoyed that too to my surprise.  She starting coughing to get my attention and then was reaching for the bowl because she was so excited.  I can't tell you how happy that made me because i"m nervous she won't be ready for me to leave in 2 months for a 2 day trip.  

But seeing this made me hopeful that she will.

She was so happy with me feeding her that she couldn't get enough of it!

Now here is a tip on when feeding solid foods to baby:

• When you give them something new for the first time, put some on your finger.  Your finger is the perfect temperature already and baby's used to you.  So it'll be something familiar with something  new.  (Dad's can do this too.)
• Most importatly warm up the food a bit.  A few seconds in the microwave won't hurt. Tjhen stir to spread the heat evenly.  Babies HATE cold food. (trust me)
• Don't feed them directly from the container.  The saliva will break down the food and when you go to use it, it's already began being "digested" so to speak.
• Start with a little.  That way you aren't wasting so much the first time, and can see if there is progress too as you feed them.

In other news, my birthday is coming up in a few weeks and I am clueless on what i"m going to do about that.  Birthdays are just another thing that come along now but I still like to celebrate it with my husband.

I haven't made any friends out here yet so it makes it a little easier to go and make sure I do something just with the hubby.  It can be sad sometimes though because I don't have a "girlfriend outlet" but I'm okay with being humble and playing with baby girl for now anyway. Because she needs my full attention since she's still pretty young.